










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
53 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 7% |
| Smokes | 76 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 73 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,333 of utility $297 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desktop-8234234 | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Ronnye | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Dan D. Lion | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Squeye :) | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Dan D. Lion | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 25% | 12 |
| #6 | Velz | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | Sihi | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeye :) | 48 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sihi | 38 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Velz | 32 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dan D. Lion | 24 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sihi | +2.78 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Dan D. Lion | +2.12 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Ronnye | +0.77 | 53 | 71 |
| #4 | VERBALKINT | +0.35 | 26 | 53 |
| #5 | Squeye :) | -0.05 | 60 | 77 |





