








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 14 matches | 1,864 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4530 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3340 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,248 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | danzane | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | naigoe | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Squeye :) | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | Velz | 47% | 346 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | naigoe | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Squeye :) | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | Velz | 47% | 346 |
| #6 | VERBALKINT | 45% | 185 |
| #7 | Desktop-8234234 | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velz | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | VERBALKINT | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | naigoe | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Desktop-8234234 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeye :) | 1072 | 0.28 | 31 min |
| #2 | Velz | 992 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | VERBALKINT | 169 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | naigoe | 103 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Desktop-8234234 | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | +3.07 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | naigoe | +0.72 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | Sihi | +0.55 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | Squeye :) | +0.24 | 53 | 76 |
| #5 | danzane | +0.22 | 70 | 67 |





