








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,728 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2336 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2386 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1558 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,376 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | 50% | 44 |
| #2 | Squeye :) | 46% | 213 |
| #3 | Sihi | 45% | 185 |
| #4 | Velz | 43% | 213 |
| #5 | naigoe | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sihi | 45% | 185 |
| #4 | Velz | 43% | 213 |
| #5 | naigoe | 42% | 62 |
| #6 | |> 4 4 £ 1 |< 4 |< |< 4 | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Desktop-8234234 | 33% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velz | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Sihi | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | naigoe | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Desktop-8234234 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeye :) | 1288 | 0.28 | 38 min |
| #2 | Velz | 910 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #3 | Sihi | 851 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #4 | Desktop-8234234 | 152 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | naigoe | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | +2.60 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | naigoe | +0.68 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | Sihi | +0.54 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Squeye :) | +0.19 | 54 | 77 |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | -0.47 | 30 | 48 |





