








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 28% |
| Smokes | 510 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,590 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naigoe | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Sihi | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | |> 4 4 £ 1 |< 4 |< |< 4 | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 50% | 44 |
| #6 | Velz | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Desktop-8234234 | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | Olski | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | Ronnye | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VERBALKINT | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Desktop-8234234 | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sihi | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeye :) | 239 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Velz | 171 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sihi | 147 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Desktop-8234234 | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | +2.69 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Sihi | +1.03 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Squeye :) | +0.26 | 52 | 78 |
| #4 | VERBALKINT | -0.37 | 27 | 49 |
| #5 | naigoe | -0.41 | 48 | 81 |





