








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,739 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4679 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3702 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3161 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2130 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,072 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Sihi | 48% | 178 |
| #3 | Velz | 46% | 212 |
| #4 | VERBALKINT | 46% | 213 |
| #5 | naigoe | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sihi | 48% | 178 |
| #3 | Velz | 46% | 212 |
| #4 | VERBALKINT | 46% | 213 |
| #5 | naigoe | 45% | 69 |
| #6 | Desktop-8234234 | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VERBALKINT | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Velz | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Sihi | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | naigoe | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Desktop-8234234 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velz | 866 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Sihi | 800 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #3 | VERBALKINT | 202 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | naigoe | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Desktop-8234234 | 121 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan D. Lion | +2.25 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Sihi | +0.47 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | naigoe | +0.42 | 57 | 74 |
| #4 | Squeye :) | +0.20 | 54 | 76 |
| #5 | VERBALKINT | -0.54 | 31 | 49 |





