








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4439 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3763 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4976 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4141 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,755,929 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrvn | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | SteveMcCracken | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | Dazzler | 51% | 244 |
| #4 | Lazer0 | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Bane | 48% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぷ Pumpieh | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bane | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dazzler | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SteveMcCracken | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | 1210 | 0.24 | 32 min |
| #2 | Bane | 582 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | ぷ Pumpieh | 445 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | SteveMcCracken | 270 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lazer0 | 177 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | +3.41 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | mrvn | +2.05 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Lazer0 | +1.54 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | ANÐY | +0.68 | 51 | 73 |
| #5 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | +0.60 | 75 | 34 |





