








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8011 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10380 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5768 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7143 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,813 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 49% | 391 |
| #6 | Bane | 48% | 556 |
| #7 | Palme | 48% | 149 |
| #8 | ぷ Pumpieh | 45% | 304 |
| #9 | MacaRena | 45% | 420 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Bane | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ぷ Pumpieh | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | mrvn | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | MacaRena | 8 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぷ Pumpieh | 1171 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | mrvn | 1134 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #3 | Bane | 994 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | Philthyphil | 449 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | MacaRena | 440 | 0.05 | 9 min |





