








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2497 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4960 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4857 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,741,426 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rob | 51% | 37 |
| #2 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 48% | 254 |
| #3 | mrvn | 47% | 106 |
| #4 | Philthyphil | 47% | 151 |
| #5 | SteveMcCracken | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ぷ Pumpieh | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Bane | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | mrvn | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | 1890 | 0.22 | 50 min |
| #2 | ぷ Pumpieh | 748 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Bane | 604 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | mrvn | 552 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #5 | Philthyphil | 253 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rob | +3.79 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Dazzler | +3.65 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | mrvn | +3.10 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | Philthyphil | +0.17 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | +0.06 | 74 | 32 |





