








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 742 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6502 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8424 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5796 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8286 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,370,474 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrvn | 51% | 170 |
| #2 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 48% | 466 |
| #3 | Dazzler | 48% | 556 |
| #4 | Palme | 48% | 92 |
| #5 | Philthyphil | 48% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Dazzler | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ぷ Pumpieh | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MacaRena | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | mrvn | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | 2415 | 0.21 | 62 min |
| #2 | ぷ Pumpieh | 1004 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | mrvn | 767 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #4 | Philthyphil | 520 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | MacaRena | 365 | 0.05 | 8 min |





