








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1054 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 598 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9504 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10883 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8320 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7742 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,201,078 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1g | 50% | 48 |
| #2 | Rekkuli | 50% | 556 |
| #3 | Aak9x | 49% | 67 |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 48% | 165 |
| #5 | Konrad | 47% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 48% | 165 |
| #5 | Konrad | 47% | 242 |
| #6 | Sp1mple | 45% | 196 |
| #7 | Nahka | 43% | 119 |
| #8 | Homo Kellari | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Konrad | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sp1mple | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Sn1g | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | 1656 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #2 | Konrad | 597 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mutsis¨ | 368 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Aak9x | 326 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | Sp1mple | 234 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aak9x | +1.00 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | Rekkuli | +0.76 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | pppfffhhh | +0.64 | 57 | 77 |
| #4 | Sp1mple | -0.03 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | Konrad | -0.40 | 75 | 67 |





