








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1241 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 692 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,424 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konrad | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | Mutsis¨ | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Sp1mple | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Rekkuli | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | pppfffhhh | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sp1mple | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Rekkuli | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | pppfffhhh | 49% | 67 |
| #6 | Homo Kellari | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Nahka | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Konrad | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Sp1mple | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | 273 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | pppfffhhh | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Konrad | 157 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sp1mple | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mutsis¨ | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | +1.52 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Aak9x | +1.07 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | pppfffhhh | +0.21 | 63 | 76 |
| #4 | Konrad | -0.39 | 76 | 71 |
| #5 | Homo Kellari | -0.40 | 48 | 67 |





