








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 627 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7042 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6723 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7280 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7942 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,939,690 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 988 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lentävä Saunavihta | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | Aak9x | 50% | 92 |
| #3 | pppfffhhh | 50% | 556 |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 49% | 169 |
| #5 | Sn1g | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sn1g | 48% | 64 |
| #6 | Konrad | 48% | 277 |
| #7 | Sp1mple | 48% | 227 |
| #8 | Nahka | 45% | 143 |
| #9 | Homo Kellari | 33% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pppfffhhh | 20 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Konrad | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sp1mple | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Sn1g | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pppfffhhh | 2049 | 0.17 | 57 min |
| #2 | Konrad | 688 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | Aak9x | 409 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 380 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Sp1mple | 282 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aak9x | +0.94 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Rekkuli | +0.93 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | pppfffhhh | +0.86 | 56 | 78 |
| #4 | Lentävä Saunavihta | +0.56 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Sp1mple | +0.27 | 56 | 60 |





