








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2226 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2568 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2119 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,336 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutsis¨ | 54% | 74 |
| #2 | Konrad | 52% | 157 |
| #3 | Aak9x | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Nahka | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | Rekkuli | 48% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rekkuli | 48% | 227 |
| #6 | pppfffhhh | 45% | 196 |
| #7 | Lentävä Saunavihta | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | Sn1g | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | Homo Kellari | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pppfffhhh | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Rekkuli | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Konrad | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Mutsis¨ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Aak9x | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | 725 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | pppfffhhh | 696 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | Konrad | 396 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Aak9x | 260 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mutsis¨ | 172 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekkuli | +1.02 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | pppfffhhh | +0.95 | 58 | 78 |
| #3 | Aak9x | +0.86 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | Sp1mple | +0.42 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | Lentävä Saunavihta | +0.32 | 65 | 66 |





