








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,507 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1257 | 24% |
| Smokes | 778 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1850 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,236 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petterschon | 45% | 124 |
| #2 | Knugen special | 43% | 128 |
| #3 | Husmusen | 42% | 69 |
| #4 | zjesus | 42% | 189 |
| #5 | Snappz | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Husmusen | 42% | 69 |
| #4 | zjesus | 42% | 189 |
| #5 | Snappz | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Fl1nta | 35% | 55 |
| #7 | RileXn | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zjesus | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Knugen special | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Petterschon | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Fl1nta | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | RileXn | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petterschon | 402 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Knugen special | 373 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | zjesus | 162 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fl1nta | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | RileXn | 68 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petterschon | +2.08 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | zjesus | +1.44 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | Knugen special | +0.46 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | RileXn | +0.27 | 60 | 56 |
| #5 | Fanky | -0.21 | 55 | 56 |





