








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,608 | |
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2340 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1291 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,550 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RileXn | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | zjesus | 47% | 137 |
| #3 | Knugen special | 46% | 104 |
| #4 | Haachen | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Fanky | 45% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Husmusen | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | Fl1nta | 35% | 37 |
| #8 | mokkan | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Mobie | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | Zexiga Ziegler | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zjesus | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Knugen special | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Fanky | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | RileXn | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Mobie | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knugen special | 314 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Fanky | 159 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | zjesus | 121 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fl1nta | 71 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | RileXn | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petterschon | +1.89 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | zjesus | +1.24 | 73 | 50 |
| #3 | Knugen special | +0.66 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | RileXn | +0.32 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Haachen | +0.25 | 48 | 38 |





