








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 32% |
| Smokes | 816 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 616 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 849 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,241 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapAnte | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Psyy | 68% | 50 |
| #3 | powop | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | jesus | 64% | 44 |
| #5 | Flonnsen™ | 63% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Psyy | 68% | 50 |
| #3 | powop | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | jesus | 64% | 44 |
| #5 | Flonnsen™ | 63% | 41 |
| #6 | MHJ | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Psyy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psyy | 229 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | powop | 171 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | 167 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | jesus | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | MHJ | 19 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | +1.99 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | mul0x | +1.55 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | jesus | -0.03 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | PapAnte | -0.09 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Psyy | -0.16 | 79 | 64 |





