








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1222 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,172 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mul0x | 68% | 50 |
| #2 | Tommy T.C.C. | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Hemedinho | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Captain Huuk | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | eN7ity | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | JFCbam | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | PapAnte | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Feelin | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | 287 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | mul0x | 286 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | 159 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | jesus | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | PapAnte | 110 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eN7ity | +4.58 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | powop | +2.32 | 89 | 69 |
| #3 | mul0x | +1.59 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | Psyy | +0.65 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | Feelin | +0.42 | 53 | 41 |





