








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1883 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1701 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,078 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuBzer0 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | powop | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | mul0x | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | Psyy | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | jesus | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuBzer0 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | powop | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | mul0x | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | Psyy | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | jesus | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psyy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | powop | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mul0x | 236 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Psyy | 180 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | powop | 137 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | jesus | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | SuBzer0 | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | +3.14 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | mul0x | +1.44 | 81 | 80 |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | +0.17 | 63 | 80 |
| #4 | Psyy | +0.15 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | SuBzer0 | -0.28 | 64 | 57 |





