








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2218 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2269 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1629 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2250 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,824 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Psyy | 67% | 75 |
| #3 | Flonnsen™ | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | mul0x | 65% | 69 |
| #5 | jesus | 58% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psyy | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | DaMachsteNix | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | PapAnte | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Aworion | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | jesus | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapAnte | 388 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Psyy | 364 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | mul0x | 286 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | jesus | 239 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Flonnsen™ | 173 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powop | +2.51 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | mul0x | +1.13 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Aworion | +0.47 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Psyy | +0.29 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | DaMachsteNix | +0.02 | 58 | 72 |





