








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 18% |
| Smokes | 682 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 546 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 561 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,553 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | URKANGURKAN | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Toast enjoyer | 49% | 85 |
| #6 | Lithlet | 46% | 130 |
| #7 | B.O.B | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 194 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lithlet | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | B.O.B | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Toast enjoyer | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |





