








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3614 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3244 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4878 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,217,677 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 701 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jonä | 48% | 130 |
| #8 | Harsann | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | MasterOogway420☑ | 48% | 209 |
| #10 | Lilac | 42% | 67 |
| #11 | Bosse | 39% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugglis | 32 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Bosse | 25 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | B.O.B | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MasterOogway420☑ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B.O.B | 1540 | 0.20 | 45 min |
| #2 | MasterOogway420☑ | 1266 | 0.28 | 37 min |
| #3 | Ugglis | 656 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | Stenqvist ★ | 326 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bosse | 282 | 0.08 | 6 min |





