










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1906 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1630 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,960 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast enjoyer | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | B.O.B | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | 55% | 135 |
| #4 | Lithlet | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | CARL 595 | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lithlet | 27 | 0.0317 |
| #2 | ✪красный димитри | 19 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | URKANGURKAN | 8 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Toast enjoyer | 4 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪красный димитри | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | B.O.B | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | CARL 595 | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | URKANGURKAN | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lithlet | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |





