








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 589 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1279 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1820 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1451 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,564 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪красный димитри | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | Toast enjoyer | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | 46% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪красный димитри | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | Toast enjoyer | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | 46% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast enjoyer | 42 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 13 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 114 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | CARL 595 | 99 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Toast enjoyer | 29 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lithlet | +2.21 | 81 | 31 |
| #2 | Toast enjoyer | +1.37 | 84 | 19 |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | +1.37 | 91 | 39 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | -2.98 | 24 | 28 |
| #5 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | -3.22 | 52 | 41 |





