








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 6% |
| Smokes | 113 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,397 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ✪красный димитри | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | CARL 595 | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Lithlet | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ✪красный димитри | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | CARL 595 | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Lithlet | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lithlet | 59 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | CARL 595 | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 5 | 0.0206 |
| #4 | ✪красный димитри | 3 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lithlet | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | CARL 595 | 70 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | 25 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪красный димитри | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lithlet | +1.78 | 81 | 24 |
| #2 | Toast enjoyer | +1.46 | 84 | 20 |
| #3 | ✪красный димитри | -1.52 | 91 | 39 |
| #4 | CARL 595 | -2.59 | 21 | 25 |
| #5 | •.•.𝒏ίккί𝔢.•.• | -4.84 | 48 | 46 |





