








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1540 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,158 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flotek | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Flo | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | falco` | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | falco | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | trash | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CtrlMjollnir | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | p i v o o o | 40% | 57 |
| #9 | Shiro | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | BingChillin | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | egg | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p i v o o o | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | HasH | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | trash | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Flotek | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | BingChillin | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trash | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Flo | 191 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | p i v o o o | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | HasH | 117 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Flotek | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falco | +2.00 | 63 | 43 |
| #2 | Flotek | +1.56 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Cartega | +1.11 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | HasH | +0.37 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | Shiro | +0.16 | 61 | 60 |





