








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4677 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1110 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2515 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,562 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 53% | 134 |
| #8 | josh | 52% | 218 |
| #9 | biggest idiot in open | 51% | 139 |
| #10 | Xeris | 51% | 97 |
| #11 | HeZoG | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biggest idiot in open | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | HeZoG | 20 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | josh | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Xeris | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOY â(ã)āļ§ | 657 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #2 | biggest idiot in open | 511 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 460 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Xeris | 425 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | josh | 357 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petro âĶ | +3.03 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | flaw | +2.24 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | josh | +2.03 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | Sinister | +1.48 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | BRK1N | +0.95 | 79 | 74 |





