








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2102 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2012 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1196 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1892 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,894 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peon | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | TOY ✌(ツ)ว | 60% | 107 |
| #3 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | biggest idiot in open | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | josh | 53% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | biggest idiot in open | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | josh | 53% | 107 |
| #6 | flaw | 51% | 97 |
| #7 | HeZoG | 50% | 94 |
| #8 | tdumps | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | josh | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | HeZoG | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | biggest idiot in open | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 773 | 0.38 | 21 min |
| #2 | TOY ✌(ツ)ว | 619 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #3 | HeZoG | 264 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 199 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | josh | 184 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOY ✌(ツ)ว | +2.47 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | flaw | +2.13 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | josh | +1.43 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | Xeris | +1.29 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | tdumps | -0.43 | 79 | 45 |





