








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1518 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1737 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 989 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1512 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,017 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dedrateR | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | brinbran | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | eesawa | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | tdumps | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | TOY â(ã)āļ§ | 59% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xeris | 56% | 63 |
| #7 | josh | 55% | 149 |
| #8 | flaw | 53% | 134 |
| #9 | biggest idiot in open | 50% | 102 |
| #10 | HeZoG | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biggest idiot in open | 14 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | flaw | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | HeZoG | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | josh | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Xeris | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 1046 | 0.38 | 26 min |
| #2 | TOY â(ã)āļ§ | 598 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | biggest idiot in open | 365 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Xeris | 240 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | josh | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dedrateR | +3.04 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | brinbran | +2.39 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | flaw | +2.32 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | josh | +2.20 | 90 | 57 |
| #5 | Xeris | +0.82 | 70 | 68 |





