








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9984 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10588 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6048 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 9741 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,771 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eesawa | 74% | 42 |
| #2 | Peon | 64% | 382 |
| #3 | Xeris | 60% | 107 |
| #4 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 59% | 99 |
| #5 | josh | 56% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 59% | 99 |
| #5 | josh | 56% | 117 |
| #6 | biggest idiot in open | 54% | 83 |
| #7 | flaw | 54% | 109 |
| #8 | HeZoG | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 16 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | biggest idiot in open | 13 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | HeZoG | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Peon | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 750 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #2 | Peon | 519 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | Xeris | 317 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 312 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | biggest idiot in open | 294 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOY ✌(ツ)ว | +3.73 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | josh | +2.24 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | flaw | +2.16 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Xeris | +1.32 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | eesawa | +0.69 | 75 | 53 |





