








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2122 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2473 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2255 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2098 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,239 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | ARKYN | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | SlaynThemAll | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | statikS | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | magicXX | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shakeRr- | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ARKYN | 8 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | magicXX | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | SlaynThemAll | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | marius | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shakeRr- | 571 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kebab | 121 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | marius | 106 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | xCHEFy0 | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | magicXX | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | +3.42 | 90 | 76 |
| #2 | ARKYN | +3.13 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | shakeRr- | +2.46 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | magicXX | +1.98 | 87 | 43 |
| #5 | SlaynThemAll | +1.78 | 72 | 49 |





