








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3088 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2583 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2881 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3199 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,300,075 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | head of the alphabet mafia | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 55% | 101 |
| #3 | Finn ist scheiße | 51% | 193 |
| #4 | Maksik1ng | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | ILSN | 49% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cookie Ⓐ | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | Hensch | 46% | 87 |
| #8 | ThinkFlink | 42% | 59 |
| #9 | Pingaxx | 42% | 71 |
| #10 | missGülfi | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | 34 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | ILSN | 20 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Maksik1ng | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Hensch | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | 581 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Maksik1ng | 226 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | ILSN | 195 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pingaxx | 194 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | +3.85 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | ILSN | +2.58 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Hensch | +1.09 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | -0.08 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | ThinkFlink | -0.17 | 67 | 48 |





