








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5402 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4693 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4617 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4243 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,884 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | head of the alphabet mafia | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Sinnerle | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | ILSN | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | HaseAufSpeed | 51% | 193 |
| #5 | cookie Ⓐ | 49% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ILSN | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | HaseAufSpeed | 51% | 193 |
| #5 | cookie Ⓐ | 49% | 232 |
| #6 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 49% | 37 |
| #7 | Fixi.MaK | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaseAufSpeed | 26 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | cookie Ⓐ | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ILSN | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Sinnerle | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | head of the alphabet mafia | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cookie Ⓐ | 463 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | HaseAufSpeed | 311 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sinnerle | 163 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fixi.MaK | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ILSN | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | +2.34 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | ILSN | +2.01 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Sinnerle | +0.67 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | -0.04 | 57 | 50 |
| #5 | HaseAufSpeed | -1.33 | 72 | 59 |





