








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 823 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2465 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4949 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3564 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2961 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,396,282 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THEMonk | 56% | 382 |
| #2 | Basti | 54% | 125 |
| #3 | F1scher | 51% | 466 |
| #4 | Slifer | 51% | 370 |
| #5 | Lin | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | F1scher | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Slifer | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | THEMonk | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Basti | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THEMonk | 679 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | F1scher | 511 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #3 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 432 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Slifer | 293 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | Basti | 239 | 0.09 | 5 min |





