








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 948 | 27% |
| Smokes | 820 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 679 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,117 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PepsiHolic | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | 1k fps | 60% | 92 |
| #3 | TJay | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | telex | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Unholy | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 1k fps | 60% | 92 |
| #3 | TJay | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | telex | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Unholy | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Smile☺ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1k fps | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | TJay | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Unholy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | 344 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | 1k fps | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Unholy | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | telex | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.34 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | TJay | +1.93 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | 1k fps | +1.76 | 61 | 42 |
| #4 | PepsiHolic | +1.01 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | Viz | +0.15 | 63 | 50 |





