








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 455 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4865 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5021 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4796 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4033 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,479,239 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | .nco | 54% | 41 |
| #17 | WHEELCHAIR WILLY | 50% | 26 |
| #18 | epix | 50% | 163 |
| #19 | inff. | 49% | 95 |
| #20 | cheffmonsta | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | inff. | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | tico | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | epix | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 2236 | 0.39 | 56 min |
| #2 | Samyyy ツ | 670 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | epix | 539 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 472 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #5 | inff. | 304 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tico | +2.13 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | tuN1 | +1.68 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | +1.53 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | EIK3000 | +1.52 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Koray | +1.16 | 74 | 67 |





