








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1343 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,801 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HxRL | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | boosted staRR | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | t0ro | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 57% | 180 |
| #5 | ✪MATHIAS | 57% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nozza | 52% | 21 |
| #9 | Sweet Beef | 52% | 161 |
| #10 | ✨ Luz | 52% | 33 |
| #11 | Whippopotamus | 47% | 116 |
| #12 | Fencer1223 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweet Beef | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Whippopotamus | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Nozza | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | ASmoothCriminal | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweet Beef | 498 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 459 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | 284 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 208 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #5 | JustGary | 163 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | +3.96 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | ✨ Luz | +3.02 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | JustGary | +0.54 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Sweet Beef | +0.18 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | Whippopotamus | +0.14 | 62 | 73 |





