








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 809 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3066 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5932 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2175 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,931,936 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | B-Rad | 57% | 408 |
| #4 | JEStERR11 | 56% | 482 |
| #5 | Drew_3415 | 55% | 270 |
| #6 | Flat Range Operator | 49% | 220 |
| #7 | glizzy gobbler | 47% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEStERR11 | 55 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | B-Rad | 30 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Flat Range Operator | 27 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Drew_3415 | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | glizzy gobbler | 15 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEStERR11 | 1421 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | Drew_3415 | 836 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #3 | glizzy gobbler | 756 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | Flat Range Operator | 369 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | B-Rad | 136 | 0.02 | 4 min |





