








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2163 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1433 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1887 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,252,679 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JEStERR11 | 58% | 340 |
| #6 | Drew_3415 | 57% | 183 |
| #7 | 5URG3 | 57% | 408 |
| #8 | Flat Range Operator | 50% | 142 |
| #9 | glizzy gobbler | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5URG3 | 63 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | JEStERR11 | 39 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Flat Range Operator | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Drew_3415 | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | glizzy gobbler | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEStERR11 | 1192 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #2 | Drew_3415 | 611 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | 5URG3 | 572 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #4 | glizzy gobbler | 505 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Flat Range Operator | 250 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5URG3 | +3.49 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | JEStERR11 | +1.08 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | B-Rad | +0.57 | 72 | 29 |
| #4 | Drew_3415 | +0.37 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | type shit | -0.31 | 73 | 49 |





