








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 31% |
| Smokes | 524 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 456 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,151 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeSCh 我喜欢球 | CSBRO | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Tarteletmand | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Jas | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | homas04 | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | Uffe | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jas | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | homas04 | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | Uffe | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | Jens Sørensen | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | homas04 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Uffe | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Jas | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Tarteletmand | 2 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homas04 | 281 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 103 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jas | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Uffe | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jens Sørensen | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jas | +7.99 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | homas04 | +2.49 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | +1.35 | 66 | 41 |
| #4 | WeSCh 我喜欢球 | CSBRO | +0.93 | 44 | 30 |
| #5 | Zplit | -1.01 | 46 | 62 |





