










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
66 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 29 | 25% |
| Smokes | 15 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 53 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 20 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,999 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zplit | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | homas04 | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Jens Sørensen | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Uffe | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zplit | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | homas04 | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Jens Sørensen | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Uffe | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homas04 | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Uffe | 1 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homas04 | 39 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | Zplit | 33 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Uffe | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jens Sørensen | 4 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homas04 | +3.11 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | +2.08 | 66 | 46 |
| #3 | WeSCh 我喜欢球 | CSBRO | +0.93 | 44 | 30 |
| #4 | Zplit | -0.20 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Jens Sørensen | -2.61 | 15 | 39 |





