








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 171 | 15% |
| Smokes | 404 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 450 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,975 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zplit | 38% | 29 |
| #2 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 37% | 73 |
| #3 | homas04 | 36% | 74 |
| #4 | Uffe | 35% | 34 |
| #5 | Jas | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 37% | 73 |
| #3 | homas04 | 36% | 74 |
| #4 | Uffe | 35% | 34 |
| #5 | Jas | 32% | 19 |
| #6 | Tarteletmand | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | homas04 | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Jas | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Tarteletmand | 2 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | Zplit | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homas04 | 329 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | 134 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zplit | 96 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Uffe | 68 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jas | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jas | +6.02 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | homas04 | +2.71 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Pappi Den Talende Papkontainer | +1.37 | 68 | 37 |
| #4 | Zplit | -1.09 | 51 | 67 |
| #5 | Tarteletmand | -2.44 | 22 | 18 |





