








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1980 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5572 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2728 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2806 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,119 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nepeta | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | ulstr_- | 52% | 221 |
| #3 | boak | 52% | 99 |
| #4 | m0joe_- | 51% | 190 |
| #5 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 48% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | m0joe_- | 51% | 190 |
| #5 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 48% | 95 |
| #6 | Yakthalion | 43% | 113 |
| #7 | Celly | 42% | 33 |
| #8 | Steven H. Dee | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boak | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | m0joe_- | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ulstr_- | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Yakthalion | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ulstr_- | 320 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | m0joe_- | 150 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Celly | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | boak | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | +1.45 | 55 | 62 |
| #2 | m0joe_- | +1.18 | 57 | 56 |
| #3 | boak | +1.03 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Brrrrrrrrrr | +0.36 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | Celly | -0.89 | 57 | 53 |





