








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 285 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2004 | 58% |
| HE Grenades | 805 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 342 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,239 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | 40% | 43 |
| #2 | Yakthalion | 39% | 31 |
| #3 | ulstr_- | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | 40% | 43 |
| #2 | Yakthalion | 39% | 31 |
| #3 | ulstr_- | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ulstr_- | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ulstr_- | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Yakthalion | 23 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | PapaWarbucks | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | +1.84 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | ulstr_- | +0.43 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | Steven H. Dee | -0.57 | 29 | 42 |
| #4 | Yakthalion | -2.44 | 37 | 44 |





