








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 705 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 312 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10397 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10164 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10511 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4169 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,721,467 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | 52% | 221 |
| #2 | boak | 51% | 200 |
| #3 | nepeta | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | m0joe_- | 49% | 335 |
| #5 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 46% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | 52% | 221 |
| #2 | boak | 51% | 200 |
| #3 | nepeta | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | m0joe_- | 49% | 335 |
| #5 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 46% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boak | 35 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | m0joe_- | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | nepeta | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | PapaWarbucks | 8 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0joe_- | 277 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #2 | Brrrrrrrrrr | 242 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | boak | 183 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | PapaWarbucks | 151 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | nepeta | 143 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaWarbucks | +1.88 | 57 | 65 |
| #2 | m0joe_- | +1.43 | 57 | 54 |
| #3 | boak | +1.32 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | Brrrrrrrrrr | +0.02 | 60 | 53 |
| #5 | ulstr_- | -0.77 | 46 | 62 |





