








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 817 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4333 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3856 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3296 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,431 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabiii | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | nixlas | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | .Emilio | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Shaw | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | senn1n | 51% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nixlas | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Fabiii | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | S1ckR1ck | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Shaw | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | .Emilio | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1ckR1ck | 590 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shaw | 349 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | .Emilio | 329 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | senn1n | 195 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | nixlas | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoniC | +1.40 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | .Emilio | +1.25 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | S1ckR1ck | +0.29 | 56 | 77 |
| #4 | Fabiii | -0.15 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | G-R-a-V-3 | -0.17 | 82 | 73 |





