








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 106 | 10% |
| Smokes | 199 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,862 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | [UNA] chiikawa lover | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | bagel the cat | 40% | 45 |
| #9 | 808 | 37% | 54 |
| #10 | OSAMA BIN GUAPO | 36% | 33 |
| #11 | shart | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 | 25 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | bagel the cat | 19 | 0.0226 |
| #3 | Nice 1 G G | 10 | 0.0413 |
| #4 | shart | 9 | 0.0262 |
| #5 | OSAMA BIN GUAPO | 8 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | bagel the cat | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nice 1 G G | 29 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | OSAMA BIN GUAPO | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | shart | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gorb | +2.85 | 91 | 6 |
| #2 | Nice 1 G G | +1.07 | 74 | 28 |
| #3 | [UNA] chiikawa lover | +1.03 | 75 | 40 |
| #4 | goonjutsu | +1.01 | 77 | 19 |
| #5 | shart | +0.85 | 75 | 45 |





