








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 21% |
| Smokes | 823 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,470 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 541 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel the cat | 72 | 0.0346 |
| #2 | 808 | 71 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | goonjutsu | 33 | 0.0228 |
| #4 | shart | 29 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | hachiware lover | 15 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gorb | +2.97 | 81 | 24 |
| #2 | shart | +2.56 | 75 | 45 |
| #3 | Nice 1 G G | +2.42 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | hachiware lover | +1.76 | 73 | 44 |
| #5 | goonjutsu | +1.52 | 82 | 25 |





