








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2406 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3624 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2130 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3379 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,044,737 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2827 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gorb | 47% | 92 |
| #2 | OSAMA BIN GUAPO | 46% | 104 |
| #3 | 808 | 46% | 215 |
| #4 | goonjutsu | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Slothy Jim | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel the cat | 68 | 0.0351 |
| #2 | 808 | 60 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | OSAMA BIN GUAPO | 30 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | goonjutsu | 26 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | Nice 1 G G | 14 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goonjutsu | +2.78 | 84 | 25 |
| #2 | shart | +1.41 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | Nice 1 G G | +1.08 | 62 | 48 |
| #4 | gorb | +0.81 | 80 | 26 |
| #5 | 808 | -0.12 | 75 | 36 |





