








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 800 | 44% |
| Smokes | 583 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 411 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,509 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GpMC_2006 // Max Verstappen Peek | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | majek_gamer | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | C3R3L4CPT | 47% | 49 |
| #4 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Not Usyk | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3R3L4CPT | 14 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | S0mple | 9 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Macalhas3 | 4 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | CFB | 2 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3R3L4CPT | 193 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | S0mple | 112 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 78 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | CFB | 30 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Macalhas3 | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |





