










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2035 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1406 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1655 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,342,853 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Not Usyk | 50% | 145 |
| #4 | S0mple | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | C3R3L4CPT | 43% | 212 |
| #6 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 40% | 45 |
| #7 | CFB | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3R3L4CPT | 34 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 13 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Not Usyk | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | CFB | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | S0mple | 4 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3R3L4CPT | 813 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | RacistHomophobicMachist | 137 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | CFB | 114 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | GpMC_2006 // Max Verstappen Peek | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Not Usyk | 83 | 0.03 | 2 min |





